The truth is everyone wants to be wanted, celebrated and valued. It’s important that I treat others the way I desire to be treated. One of the ways I know how other’s value me is whether or not they follow through with their promises. Breaking a promise quickly dissolves relationships. What I’ve found and witnessed over the years is that I might be a truth keeper in all of my business commitments, but other promises can be compromised or broken and I might see this as okay. This should not be. Take a moment before you continue reading and reflect whether you’re a habitual promise keeper or promise breaker.

Please allow me to share briefly how a recent broken promise for a non-business endeavor impacted me. My truck is currently in the repair shop. Last night we had a decent snow squall along Palmer Divide and normally driving to work is not an issue in the company truck with 4 wheel drive and snow tires. However, today I was driving a vehicle without snow tires. As a result in order to make this meeting early in the morning, that several people had committed to attending, I had to adjust my schedule. Even with forethought I was still a few minutes late to my meeting and became truly concerned about how my lack of preparation might impact others. The good news and also the bad news is that at another person was also late. This other person was only five or 10 minutes late on top of my 10 minutes being late therefore he was 15 to 20 minutes late. okay who’s keeping score?

Everyone of us at Integrity Roofing and Painting has a busy schedule and I would imagine you too are busy. I’ve discovered it’s important in higher level relationships to let the other team member know how they impact me with tardiness. Here’s the bad new for relational equity, there was a third person that was to attend the meeting this morning and he didn’t show up. I will have to do the hard work and have a discussion with this other person. Another persons way of being including their tardiness and absence needs to be addressed. Honestly, I felt devalued and unappreciated when he broke his promise. Again everyone has a desire and need to be valued and wanted. Know this that every time someone is late or absent from a commitment they are communicating a measure of relational equity to someone else.

When someone doesn’t value me enough to make adjustments with their schedule to meet with me it will have an impact on our relationship. When this happens I can choose to overlook the offense, forgive and forget or confront and forgive. I truly believe the kindest act is to confront the other person rather than try to sweep it under the rug. Stuffing emotions is unhealthy and not to confront is unhealthy.  As a result I have to choose to confront the other person than to forgive. If I neglect to have the heart conversation with this person this person may not have the opportunity to transform. On the other side of the equation someone may be emotionally immature and clueless to how their way of being impacts others. At the end of the day caring enough to confront is critical.

Once someone forms a habit of not keeping their promises the team unity is broken with that person and the relational equity is diminished. This is something that everyone must avoid. In order to have a truly functioning team in relationships each person in that relationship must maintain the trust level and we must be habitually truthful and habitually trustful.

Ideally everyone would’ve been present for the meeting and on time. When everyone is present over time and habitually keeps their word trust is fully developed and relational equity is grown in a positive way. The opposite is true, habitually breaking promises destroys relational equity. Even worst is when a team compensates or enables this unwholesome behavior.  Everyone in community needs to understand how important it is to honor your own word. I am well aware of that and I understand how important it is to be to at meeting on time. When I’m late I own it without making excuses. Please reflect on your way of being.

Let us consider a different situation where we are developing and nurturing relational equity. I have found that in community it’s important to also honor people and remember them on birthdays and special events. Here at Integrity Roofing and Painting we like to make a big deal out of these. Our management team understands that they are to initiate the celebration for each team member. This is not done by one individual but it is embraced by our culture to celebrate birthdays and other significant events together.

Truthfully, I have been on the receiving end of being overlooked on my birthdays and that is not enjoyable. Everyone wants to be celebrated and we desire to do this faithfully, however we do it poorly sometimes. I’m hoping that your organization would desire to excel in celebrating each other.

Within our corporate community it is our desire to step outside of the bubble of work and to regularly build relationships outside of our four walls. Many team members enjoy hiking together on a regular basis. The good news is that we are able to meet early in the morning or evening on a mountain to hike together. The importance of this is creating value in each person outside of the scope of work. We do this not as a means to an end, but as a part of our human experience in the way we were created by God. Each person needs to be in relationship with others.

At the end of the day we are hardwired for community and we will never created to be isolated or lonely. I’m hoping that everyone within our team truly feels embraced and I’m hoping that within your team you’re able to create a culture of inclusivity for everyone. The lone ranger model is not healthy nor fun. We were created for relationship and unity. It is my desire that Integrity Roofing and Painting will strive in relational equity with one another and that we will manifest this by keeping our word with each other.

In addition, we regularly help and support one another spiritually, emotionally and financially. It’s not unusual for our team to help each other with moving or remodeling at our personal houses. Community life is a key to freedom from isolation and loneliness.

This year I am planning on writing more in regards to Unity and belonging emphasizing trust and other characteristics. I’d like to leave you with this thought. A lot of times many people get lost in the big picture and they forget to live in the present. Learn to live in the present.

By the way I spoke to the absentee party and now he understands how his way of being impacted me.

Striving for a productive and healthy team requires work.

One of the things at Integrity Roofing and Painting that we find important is to regularly have book studies as a team and to apply the wise counsel from the author of the book into our daily lives and our corporate lives together. What I mean is that we regularly read through books together and we will sit down for several weeks at a time and break it down as a leadership team exploring truths. This is an important part of our dynamic culture to bring forth cultural unity and direction for transformation.

One of the books our community looked at together is the Five Dysfunctions of A Team, by Patrick Lencioni. We have found this book to be very practical and to be absolutely filled with golden nuggets of truth. Everywhere we turned we kept on finding wisdom. The good news is that we did not have to do all of the digging nor did we have to bring in heavy equipment or mining equipment to find this gold. Patrick Lencioni has done the  hard work for us. With many years of research and observing top corporations throughout the United States he discovered common denominators with his team of why companies struggle and how they succeed.  We’re going to share one of these character traits with you that we avoid and another trait that we embrace.

Dysfunctional teams created by mistrust or absence of trust

I want to discuss this trait in a moment, however I would like to address roofing contractors in general and specifically roofing contractors in Colorado Springs and Denver the importance of this negative characteristic befalling teams. On the other hand a wholehearted team must function with a high degree of righteous character. You could settle for less which will result in a dysfunctional team, but that’s not fair to you, nor anyone else. What we recommend and we have discovered is that it’s important for leaders to do the hard work of confronting and caring enough for people to actually confront this character issue. What I mean is that confronting others and confronting team members and in particular confronting our self is the key to transformation.

Most roofing contractors are stuck in the same patterns of character that they started their business with. Not only roofing contractors, but many companies are still functioning at a dysfunctional level. Many have given up hope on functioning at a higher level. What I’m saying is, “If a business started in 1990 culturally with a character deficit they’re most likely doing the same things and functioning with the same dysfunction that they started with from the beginning.  It’s very important for the managers and for the owners of roofing businesses to be willing to do the hard work of transformation, which will involve significant confrontation and/or conflict. This is messy work and it requires you to be brave and vulnerable. Being vulnerable has not been easy for me, yet it was necessary for transformation. Although I haven’t struggled with this issue the process remains the same if someone wants to be changed. It requires vulnerability.

Well let’s take a look at the book and let’s discover the first thing that Patrick has to say about the five dysfunctions of a team. Now, with this in mind I’m going to encourage you to take the approach that you may have a measure of this dysfunction in yourself.  So brace yourself for the pain of transformation. Once you see this in team members it’s easy to point out. The hard thing is embracing the truth if you see this in yourself. Okay guys let’s begin

The first thing that Patrick discusses in the book is the absence of trust.  Let’s go ahead and break this down and what this may look like in a roofing company. We’re only taking a glance at the absence of trust in community or a team and it’s impact. Please understand what I’m saying, “Absence of trust is a killer in all relationships.” And we are going to briefly look at the opposite of lack of trust.  A highly functioning individual and organization that operates with integrity is the positive. The negative side is absence of trust, not being trustworthy or out right being a liar.

Avoiding Team Dysfunction In regards to the absence of trust I believe that a roofing company can manifest this in many ways. There are smaller issues of lack of trust and larger issues. Ultimately it can manifest in several ways. A larger and more common issue with roofing companies is regards to absence of trust is because Roof
they break the law. When a roofing company is knowingly breaking the law by paying deductibles and sending out team members knowing that they are breaking the law, mistrust is being birthed from the owners and management or rather from the top-down. There is little chance that an organization that is breaking the law can thrive on trust. Who and their right mind would trust me if I lied to insurance companies and homeowner’s on a regular basis? If you or your company is stuck in this practice it will typically lead to greater compromise resulting in halfheartedness. It’s hard to live a satisfied life while living in compromise. Living wholehearted lives requires transformation and breaking agreement with this old perilous habit. Please understand that one embraced absence of trust on my part will typically lead to justification and compromise in other areas of my life. I’m not ok with this, therefore I want to live a life free of compromise and I encourage you to do the same. Roofing contractor or salesman I want to encourage you to make the change. Living a wholehearted life is attainable.

The small demons or smaller issues of absence of trust are destructive to unity and community as well. A smaller issue can include not keeping your appointments. What I mean is when someone is habitually disobedient with keeping their word they are manifesting and creating an absent of trust with team members and others. When a team member gives their word they are making a promise that others are depending on. For example, if I never or rarely keep my  appointments it is a sign of habitual disobedience, which results in an absence of trust from the other team members. It is true that an absence of trust is formed from this small demon of not showing up when you say you’re going to. Disunity results from not keeping our word and once I’m labeled as untrustworthy it’s almost impossible for team members to give their confidence to me. Absence of trust kills unity.

Functional teams require trust

Team members need to understand that lack of follow through on their part negatively impacts other team members. What happens during a football game when the players don’t follow through? The results are negative! The same is true in our lives.

If I’m late I should tell the other person or team that I recognize that my tardiness negatively impacted their time and I apologize for my way of being or behavior rather than give an excuse. I must acknowledge that I knowingly negatively impacted others and ask for forgiveness for my behavior. This is better and more truthful then the typical apology, “I am sorry that I am late, but it was the weathers fault.” When I break trust it is necessary for me to acknowledge the negative impact to other people and to own my bad choice, otherwise a spirit of disunity begins to manifest. I have to own my failure and not blame traffic, roofers, mechanic problems or any typical self-justification for my failure. I am the one to blame and I shall not blame circumstances. If I blame circumstances than I paint myself as a helpless victim which I am not. I am a product of my choices and not a victim of circumstances. This perspective will help produce in me wholeheartedness and I hope you’ll consider what I’m saying.

One of the manifestations or negative impact for team members with someone not trustworthy is holding grudges and un-forgiveness toward the lying party. It’s almost impossible to walk in unity with someone that you can’t trust. A team is truly dysfunctional when they enable the continuation of, “Absence of trust” within a team member. Once someone is known as a liar and they have been confronted and yet they are unwilling to change it would behoove the management and owner to make the right decision and to dismiss this person from their roofing company. In order to have a fully functioning team each member must be healthy. Ultimately if everyone embraces positive transformation you’ll find yourself surrounded by healthy wholehearted people.

You can have a strong team with hard work.

May we strive and I said strive for it is not natural to become a truth keeper and to live a wholehearted life together with others in community. In reality all of humanity has a natural proclivity to protect themselves and to protect their identity which would include the natural tendency to live in the absence of truth or lying in order to avoid pain or consequences. You have been made for something greater than this and I hope you find this post sobering and refreshing for you can change. One thing is constant and that is you and I are always changing.

The question is will I do what needs to be done today in order for me to be who I want to be tomorrow?